On the podcast, I recently got to interview one of my mentors and long-time teachers of human psychology, Peter Sage. He worked with Tony Robbins as one of his lead trainers for over 10 years and has facilitated countless interventions, saving people from addiction, relationships, suicide and everything in between.
On this episode of the Lisa Inside Addiction podcast we discuss how addiction is like a well we keep drinking from despite the consequences of drinking from that well.
”The behaviour owns you rather than you owning the behaviour.Peter Sage
Peter goes on to talk about how we do certain behaviours because it meets our six human needs (certainty, uncertainty, significance, love & connection, growth and contribution). For example, when you do drugs you get the initial high but then you get a big low. However, you also get the secondary gain, which could be the significance of having a big drug problem.
”Many drug addicts are more addicted to people running around after them, making excuses for their behaviour, trying to help and giving them attention than the actual drug.Peter Sage
We also go on to discuss how drugs meet our other needs such as certainty, uncertainty or variety, love and connection.
During the episode, we touch on topics such as moving from an intellectual level of understanding to having an identity shift. Also, how sometimes the best thing you can do for someone caught in the trap of addiction is to walk away.
”Some people need to bang their head on the pavement a few more times before they learn to tie their shoelaces.Peter Sage
The best thing we can do is to put the support system in place to meet the addict’s needs when they decide to stop using and get clean. When being mindful we are not fulfilling any secondary gain and are enabling the behaviour to meet our own needs.
Peter suggests most people mistakenly think it is the drug that gives them the high but it’s not. He explains from a consciousness point of view it removes the inhibitions for you to experience higher states of consciousness. These states of joy, happiness and unconditional love have always been there because they are natural. And we have all experienced them, for example when looking at a sunset holding the hand of the person we love, when we see our child walk for the first time. We can reach these states without drugs by deep therapeutic work, meditation and other aspects of personal growth.
Peter and I go deeper into the levels of consciousness and how to reprogram your mind. How to break free from the chains of addiction and how family, friends and partners can best help their loved ones while avoiding any secondary gain.